New motto

Our most popular slogan of the past 20 years has been “Be All You Can Be.”

The most recent attempt at recreating the “magic” of the above example was “An Army of One,” which no one seemed to get. I didn’t understand it either, really. Was I supposed to look out for only myself? Was I supposed to rely only on my strength? It was confusing. And we always got heckled by other services.

At least the Spanish translation made sense, “Yo soy el Army,” or “I Am the Army.” I liked that one.

Anyway, the millions of recruiting posters and billboards have to come down, there’s a new slogan in town.

I would have lost the period at the end, since it’s not a sentence, but that’s just me. Every time I see it, I think “Army Strong Period.”

And can I get some prayers for the brother or sister who had to edit that video? How many Pentagon officers stood over that poor bastard’s shoulder, eh?

“Add a flag!” “Say ‘Green Earth’ like ‘God’s Green Earth.’ Get it?” “No, put the Abrams first, those are my boys!” “Add the fishing clip.” “Where’s the ‘Hooah!’?” “Now that’s ‘Hooah!’!” “Can you put in a rabbit? My kid loves rabbits.” “Can I get a copy of what you have so far? I want to show my wife and see what she thinks.” “Wife says, ‘More pastels.'”

Reminds me of when Dustin Hoffman in “Wag the Dog” was steaming about the suggestions the president wanted in the refugee film. “Can there be a cat? The president wants cats,” said the assistant, on the phone with the pres.

“I hate it when they meddle. They aaaaaalways meddle.”

Indeed Dustin, indeed.

As a film editor myself, I just felt for whoever had to put that together, since the hopes of freedom and democracy itself was resting on the shoulders of that film. “Get ’em to sign up, son. That’s all we ask. Just get enough boys and girls to stand up so that all we love and hold dear isn’t pummeled to ruins by the evil, contemptible, maleficence of the terrorists. That’s all we ask. Good luck, my boy! I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Heh! Alright, enough procrastinating. I have a paper to write and it’s killing me.


About salemonz

Born in San Diego, Calif. Raised as a Navy Brat, I jumped ship and crossed over to the Army. Served as an enlisted journalist for a bunch of years, then helped the DoD figure out what the hell to do with social media. After the Army, now I drift down the river of life, trying not to be a jerk.

3 responses to “New motto”

  1. Felyne says :

    You made me spit my coffee all over the screen!

    That’s too funny. All the guys in the office are looking at me weird now.

  2. Radio Free Babylon says :

    Check out this recruitment ad for the Czech Army –

    I think whomever produced this stole the idea from the Czechs – who did it better – and with no onscreen psuedo-poetry.

  3. gina says :

    This has nothing to do with your topic, I have just come across your blog looking for info on groups that help soldiers. A group of young people is trying to decide what they would like to do for soldiers at Christmas time and I was wondering if you could tell me what you think deployed soldiers would like to get from home.

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